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Post Info TOPIC: Poetry by Blood Knight


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Poetry by Blood Knight


This is a poem I wrote about how people seem to cling onto things so much that they let it run their lives.

As many days that I see roll by,
Not many things have caught my eye,
Whether it be death, whether it be pain,
I always view it like the rain,
It isn't permanent, it isn't staying, it'll pass, it'll pass.
I see people crying on the street,
And those are the ones I stop to meet,
Kneeling down at their side,
I usually say with a sigh,
It isn't permanent, it isn't staying, it'll pass, it'll pass.
I hear someone say,
"I won't be living another day."
I wrap my arms around them as I would a friend,
And tell them, "It doesn't really have to end,
It isn't permanent, it isn't staying, it'll pass, it'll pass."
Now to you I write here and now,
Don't let the world get you down,
Take charge, and ever moving,
Don't give up, and keep on going,
If I have one last thing say, it will be this,
"It isn't permanent, it isn't staying, it'll pass, it'll pass."

-- Edited by Blood Knight on Wednesday 10th of June 2009 04:06:12 AM

-- Edited by Blood Knight on Wednesday 10th of June 2009 04:09:47 AM

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Whether it be for glory, honor, or even money, there is some bloodshed involved.

The name's Blood Knight, that's for sure.
I'm the guy you come to when you need more,
I'm a roleplayer, yes that's my game,
A sadist, a lover, or a slave you can tame,
If a long interesting roleplay is what you seek,
Just pop into the Master's section and take a peek!


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Posts: 914
Date:

People you are free to comment, my poetry will be placed in one of these two posts, I want to hear critiques, and criticism, if you love it, let me know ^_^

__________________
Whether it be for glory, honor, or even money, there is some bloodshed involved.

The name's Blood Knight, that's for sure.
I'm the guy you come to when you need more,
I'm a roleplayer, yes that's my game,
A sadist, a lover, or a slave you can tame,
If a long interesting roleplay is what you seek,
Just pop into the Master's section and take a peek!


Ultra Member

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Posts: 576
Date:

I really really like this poem but something that could make it better if I may say so. You should keep it the way it is now because it gets a point across but something crossed through my mind as I read the fourth line: "I always view it like the rain" Something I thought might sound really good there as opposed to view was this: "I always perceive it, like the rain." I personally think perceive sounds a little better than view.

I'm sorry... I'm a person who isn't afraid to give criticism on things in a kind way.... But sometimes people can't take it well... I just like to give my point of view because sometimes i can give something that will help someone else better themselves as a writer... Great powem and I love it Blood Knight!

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Ultra Member

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That was one of my considerations for that line believe it or not, but I decided it didn't flow as well, but thanks for the criticism.

__________________
Whether it be for glory, honor, or even money, there is some bloodshed involved.

The name's Blood Knight, that's for sure.
I'm the guy you come to when you need more,
I'm a roleplayer, yes that's my game,
A sadist, a lover, or a slave you can tame,
If a long interesting roleplay is what you seek,
Just pop into the Master's section and take a peek!


Ultra Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 576
Date:

Youre very welcome ^^

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Ultra Member

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Posts: 914
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Yet another poem, free verse.

Strength is only in the eye of the beholder,
Some say strength comes from the heart,
Others from the muscles,
And some say from the will,
Muscles can impress a woman, yes that's true,
As so can a powerful will,
Does muscle make a woman love you?
Does willpower make them love you?
No, Yes its a fact, strength is from the heart,
If you have a strong heart, your love will endure,
If you have a strong heart, you will care,
If you have a strong heart, you won't leave.

__________________
Whether it be for glory, honor, or even money, there is some bloodshed involved.

The name's Blood Knight, that's for sure.
I'm the guy you come to when you need more,
I'm a roleplayer, yes that's my game,
A sadist, a lover, or a slave you can tame,
If a long interesting roleplay is what you seek,
Just pop into the Master's section and take a peek!
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